“I have to figure my life out”

“I feel stuck”

“I don’t know what I want to do”

“I want to feel passionate about my job”

“What if…”

Have you ever found yourself saying these statements or something similar?

You’re not alone. It can be hard to know what you want to do with your life in this day and age. There are so many options and we’re way more exposed to these options than ever before, thanks to social media.

Back in the day, it use to be “keeping up with the Joneses“, which basically meant you compared your life to your neighbors because that’s all you could see. In today’s culture, we are constantly bombarded with information and what everyone else is doing with their life through social feeds.

This makes many of us, myself included, fall into comparison and FOMO. This leads to spiraling into “what the hell am I doing with my life” or “why doesn’t my life look like theirs”. This can be motivating to some extent, you can be inspired by what you see online but it can also be detrimental to enjoying the journey and living in the present moment. No matter what you accomplish, you’re already comparing to a random stranger online and thinking about what you’re lacking. This can cause a sense of scarcity and stress.

I struggle with this often. There’s so much in this magical world that I want to see and do, and my heart pulls me in many directions. I crave a life filled with adventure and fear a life of boredom. I want to live by the beach, travel the world, get married, be an athlete, learn to play the drums, be successful in my career, make an impact, flip properties – SO MANY THINGS.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it keeps me motivated and living my best life. However, I often walk the line of unhappiness and discontentment. I’m constantly pining for the next “big” thing. I feel overloaded with ideas, which causes decision fatigue – also known as the paradox of choice.

“The paradox of choice is an observation that having many options to choose from, rather than making people happy and ensuring they get what they want, can cause them stress and problematize decision-making.”

How does this all relate to what you want to do with your life?

Well, when we’re overloaded by decisions, it causes us to spiral and get stuck.

I am learning that the best way to figure out what you want to do and to get unstuck is by taking action. Going back to all the things I want to do, as listed earlier – I may not be able to do it all but why not try? Start small and build off of the momentum.

It’s okay if you don’t live overseas, become a CEO, travel the world or whatever else society is pressuring you to do. You are allowed to live as big or as small as you so please. You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You just have to do what feels aligned to you – no one else.

A real time example of taking action is posting this blog. For the past few years, I’ve started and stopped writing so many articles because a lot of the time I feel like I’m just rambling on about what’s inside my brain in that given moment, so I don’t post it. I’m trying to let go of perfectionism and share authentically in hopes that these thoughts help someone else navigate their own journey, or at least relate to it.

So, I’m not here to tell you what you should be doing but I can tell you – we’re all faking it. No one knows what they’re doing and many of us are held back by our fears. We don’t take actions on things because we fear judgement or failure. I always thought being in your twenties was your time to “figure it out”, which is partially true. However, when I talk to people of other age decades, I hear the same thing – they’re still figuring it out.

What the fuck is “it”???

No one knows. What we do know is – life is short and the things that bring us joy are often outside of our comfort zones. Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves and figuring out their “it” that they won’t even remember what the hell you’re doing 20 minutes from now, if not less than that. Make your life fun, make it an adventure of figuring out who you are and who you’re not.

No matter what your story ends up being just know you don’t have to prove yourself to exist. Don’t let social media trick you into thinking you aren’t worthy. You are allowed to take up space even when you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing.